Douglas Adams

Quotations by Author
Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001) English humorist & science fiction novelist [more author details]
Showing quotations 1 to 23 of 23 total
He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.
Douglas Adams
He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.
Douglas Adams
Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.
Douglas Adams
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Douglas Adams
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
Douglas Adams
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.
Douglas Adams
In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.
Douglas Adams
It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.
Douglas Adams
It is no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase 'As pretty as an Airport' appear.
Douglas Adams
Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.
Douglas Adams
The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.
Douglas Adams
There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
Douglas Adams
- More quotations on: [Discovery]
Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
Douglas Adams
- More quotations on: [Time]
You live and learn. At any rate, you live.
Douglas Adams
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
Douglas Adams, "Last Chance to See"
- More quotations on: [Experience]
The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79.
Douglas Adams, "Mostly Harmless"
- More quotations on: [Common Sense]
He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.
Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
- More quotations on: [Dreams]
Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.
Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
Ah, this is obviously some strange usage of the word 'safe' that I wasn't previously aware of.
Douglas Adams, Arthur Dent in "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy"
The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair.
Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless
Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
- More quotations on: [Politicians]
Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Even he, to whom most things that most people would think were pretty smart were pretty dumb, thought it was pretty smart.
Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt, p. 205

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"Here's my heart and soul, please grind them into hamburger, and enjoy." Meredith GreyIf you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change. John A. Simone, Sr.... let's play a game of whose life sucks worse ... I'll win, I always win ... Ellen Pompeo (Dr. Meredith Grey)In a real dark night of the soul, it is always three o'clock in the morning, day after day.F. Scott Fitzgerald Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon. Woody AllenAll the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed. Sean O'Casey When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. Franklin D. RooseveltLife is a horizontal fall. Jean Cocteau Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television. Woody Allen Life is a zoo in a jungle. Peter De Vries "Don't worry. Things will get worse." George SkeltonLife is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep. Carl Sandburg No matter how bad things get, you got to go on living, even if it kills you. Sholom Aleichem There are good days and there are bad days, and this is one of them. Lawrence Welk Life is like stepping onto a boat which is about to sail out to sea and sink. Shunryu Suzuki Roshi Life is painful, nasty and short.. in my case it has only been painful and nasty. Djuna Barnes Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one? Bob Monkhouse You know, it's a long world. Lawrence Welk